*Disclaimer: It seems I'll always have to mention that yes, I realize my posts may be all over the place. Yes, there may be run-on sentences. But I'm suffering from depression, I have a hard enough time just having the motivation to write.* Recently, I have been attending physical therapy for my neck to help … Continue reading You Need To Exercise.
This isn't meant to be one of those woe-is-me posts. It's simple. I am depressed. I have Major Depressive Disorder. I have Dysthmic Disorder. I also am realizing that WordPress has changed their format slightly and it's bothering me to all hell. Yes, I feel alone. But I know I am not. However, when I … Continue reading I have no title.
Because I've been broke and at near-wit's end about my lingering untreated "emotional issues," over the past few years I've participated in a few clinical research studies. I have been slightly less than desperate to make money as well as try new forms of treatment to see if anything would break through my stubbornness and alleviate some … Continue reading Testosterone, Electrodes, and Depression
220. That is what the scale says. Either I need a new scale or I need new clothes. This time two years ago I was probably about 170. Even one year ago I was probably 190. So much regret. By September, 2014, I was 140. Most was loose skin, but I was happy to fit … Continue reading I don’t have an eating disorder?
My whole cognitive life I've been struggling with the disabling question, "What is wrong with me?" When I was young, I was told that I was a grumpy, stubborn child and that I never liked to be hugged. "You were never a happy child," says my mother. (Yes, mom, you did say this.) But I'm … Continue reading The Meaning of a Diagnosis
Monday night, David and I went to the drive-in theater to see the new Pixar movie, Inside Out. I laughed, I cried, I went emotionally numb, I was scared of my own feelings and then ultimately experienced an overwhelming sense of revelation to the inner workings of my mind. I was pleasantly surprised about the concept developed … Continue reading Sadness Inside & Out
I don't know what lies more: depression or happiness? The only times I can feel validated to the outside world are when I am zombie-depressed. I sleep, I mope, I cry, and I think about suicide for comfort. But what about the other end of the spectrum? When I actually experience "good" days? The other … Continue reading The Psychometer of a Polarized Emotional State